i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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