I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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