"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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