party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you traded sex for a burrito?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
