How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
