Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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