You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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