yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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