i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize