he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
