Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
