you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
