I seem to have left my pride at pride
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im holly from the hills drunk
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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