i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My feet surprised me
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