You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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