She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
