Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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