that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
