I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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