She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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