The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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