I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
