all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He better not be in your backpack
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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