No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
