It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
