Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
