please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
