Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
