i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
