i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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