Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Randomize
