we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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