I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
