We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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