Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
