You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
