Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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