I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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