no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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