This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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