i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
