oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Less talking, more tequila
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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