Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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