I need help removing her.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize