Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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