We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
