What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
