she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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