But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
