Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
