so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
