Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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