I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
