You're my little dorito
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
