guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
then he tried to convert me to islam
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm always down for nudity.
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