So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
