just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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