Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
