Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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