I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize