Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
