I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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