It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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