I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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