i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
