its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
