My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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