Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
